I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
