I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
