HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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