I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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