After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
