she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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