Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Randomize
