its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
