bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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