my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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