I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
