Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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