OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
