Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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