Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
