First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
