That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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