508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
