I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
