I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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