dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
