The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
