belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
