Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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