nut hugger
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there's paper in my vomit.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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