It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
