is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize