I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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