Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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