You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
