We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
