Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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