we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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