Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
