My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
