I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
