a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
