no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
