i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
