The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
