i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
