that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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