i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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