Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
