Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
