Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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