p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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