absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
