hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
