I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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