I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
40s are totally the cure
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize