Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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