Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
