If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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