Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
