we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
