Christians are straight up FREAKS
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize