their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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