Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
