Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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