Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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