around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
