we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
