You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
