My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
