Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
pray to the hookup gods
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
