I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
