3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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