where am i from again
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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