4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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